(not an) Emergency Bulletin!
by Yan D (ericzillazillo)
I just found out that THE INTERNET IS FULL OF RETARDS!!!
From the picture below you can deduce what has happened to me like, just now.
(flagged by the very same people who think that graphical violence towards animal torturers is acceptable.)
As you can see, some moron decided that instead of nigger-guy or women-should-be-beat-and-raped-guy, I was the bigger bigot.
Now, to understand why this is sarcasm, you have to understand the context: This was in reply to a picture that depicted a muslim bringing weapons into a party (if memory serves me right).
And, to explain why this is sarcasm in simpler terms, I was trying to make a comment on the racist-selective-random-search thing that goes on, how from a stereotypical racist’s point of view, the muslim snuck the weapon in the party BECAUSE the guys in charge of security weren’t racists.
So tell me why that, why is it when the picture itself is making fun of stereotypical muslims while my comment is only commenting on stereotypical racists’ attitudes towards muslims, that the picture itself shouldn’t be removed, but my comment should?
(Update: “Facebook does not permit hate speech, but distinguishes between serious and humorous speech. While we encourage you to challenge ideas, institutions, events, and practices, we do not permit individuals or groups to attack others based on their race, ethnicity, national origin, religion, sex, gender, sexual orientation, disability or medical condition.”
So WHO THE FUCK DID I ATTACK OTHER THAN RACISTS? (This explains EVERYTHING)
and believe it or not, SOME PEOPLE DO FIND SERIOUS-SOUNDING SARCASM HUMOROUS!
YES I AM SHOUTING BECAUSE I AM VERY PISSED!! WHY CAN’T I SARCASTICALLY CALL THE HOST OF A PARTY WHO PERMITS A GUY WITH A WEAPON IN AN IGNORANT ASSHOLE?
On the other hand, how is outlining the security procedures of a typical American airport hate-speech?
Security Procedures of a safe, secure and drug free American venue:
Part 1) Search all Muslims for weapons and drugs
Part 2) Search all Hispanics for weapons and drugs
Part 3) Search all Asians for weapons and drugs
Part 4) Search both type of Indians for weapons and drugs
Part 5) Search all White people for weapons and drugs
Did I miss anyone? Oh, Yes: Search all Eskimos for weapons and drugs
Update #2: Silly me, of course: Search all rappers for weapons and drugs
I know, I know. Authority in history have had a tendancy to misunderstand sarcasm. But that came from a time where “authority” could mean the inbred offspring of a dumb king, and I thought times are different, that people will somehow be able to understand sarcasm in today’s day and age where supposedly the majority are educated in the use of english?
While the ban will be lifted within 24 hours, I understand that I can’t use sarcasm for the rest of my facebook account’s lifespan, unless I hash tag sarcasm or make some clear indication to those faggots that my post/comment was indeed meant to be sarcastic.
Now onto the part about the graphical violence towards animal torturers part. If you use facebook, you know that from time to time, there are posts that say “this mother killed her baby in the washing machine, one like= one punch”, “This man walks on the hands of children, one share= one bomb strapped to his chest”, “This asshole is apparently torturing this puppy, one like+share = combo baseball bat attack on his head”, or my personal favorite, “This guy killed a bunch of kids in connecticut then commited suicide. One million likes= cannibalised by other dead people in hell (WTF????)”.
Look, I’m not saying baby-killing, animal-torturing or homicide-suicide is right, but ignoring the fact that 10 year olds think liking these posts will actually mean something other than the fact they’re violent little pricks, these posts also show how simple minded people are, how people just automatically assume a man tortures a puppy just because he is a sicko.
Maybe, the mother who killed her baby is a retard who couldn’t help herself, giving birth to it after getting raped by a sick fuck.
Maybe, the man walks on the hand of children because from where he’s from, this brings good luck. Or, maybe the children couldn’t do some math problems right and had to be punished (great way to justify stupidity, internet).
Maybe, the puppy ate the medicine that the man originally spent months working to buy for his dying son, who knows? In that case, the least the guy can do is to violently torture and murder the puppy.
Besides, despite how the SPCA and PETA idiots try to convince you, Animals, especially tamed animals, ARE THE PROPERTY OF HUMAN BEINGS. This means that we should be able to do almost whatever the fuck we want to them, provided human beings are not harmed in the process. And yes, if you don’t like it, the most you can do is to ask them not to torutre those animals in public. Now, I’m not a animal torture advocate, but I believe in people’s right to do whatver the fuck they want with their property.
And besides, maybe the caption on a picture is just a caption that doesn’t represent the actual picture! Have you ever thought of that? (yes the truth does hurt, sweetie) I mean, I could literally just take any random picture of any guy’s face and slap on a caption that says “This guy is a rapist. one like = one pitchfork in the asshole”. And you know, if any popular facebook page posts that, it would get tons of likes.
I could probably go on and on, but unfortunately, I just don’t gotz the time.
So I end with this: If anyone know the email address I can write to in dispute of this ban, please let me know in the comments section below, or via firstname.lastname@example.org
Remember, like this article and suscribe to my blog if you love Jesus (or Darwin) (or Buddha), ignore if you want to scissor with Justin Bieber and let Satan do you in the asshole!
(^ That was sarcastic. My philosophy is, don’t base your likes on whether a post tells you to, like it if you like it. Sure a like only takes a second, but it shows a lot about your character.)