And now for the brrr, I might get in trouble for this shit edit/disclaimer
ok, I wrote this article in 2013. I might have changed my mind on a few things since then.
I am now against the death penalty, and also largely disavow the deterrence effect of punishment – which sort of was the entire point of this article’s central theme. While I do think dangerous people need to be restrained, death or even jail would be harsh.
Onto the specifics:
SETI is dangerous should we attract aliens who are near our stage of moral development. If we encounter aliens who think like we do, we’re fucked. However, finding Aliens would be a good thing if and only if they are maybe a few ten thousand/million years ahead of us. Only if they are morally advanced enough to not murder/enslave us, and technologically advanced enough to not need our resources, will first contact be a good thing. Thus, SETI is dangerous because we always might encounter aliens at our level of moral development but with superior technology and limited resource, or worse with an even lesser level of moral development, then we’re REALLY fucked.
I group smart monkeys and sentient computers in the same category of unnecessary and dangerous intelligence to manufacture. The only reason to help monkeys reach human level intelligence, or for computers to reach sentience, is for the novelty of it. The risks of intelligent animals and sentient computers is far too great- and a sentient computer would be basically your average self-serving, unstable human being with 100000x the mental speed, it will not bode well for humanity.
Animals and clones can feel pain, and they should have rights. That is why clone researchers need to figure out a way to grow animal and human clones without a consciousness. If an animal or clone is conscious, then it would be immoral to use them for their parts, simple as that. However cloning by itself is definitely not immoral. As for animal rights, I don’t think animal torturers should neccesarily go to jail, but I do think some type of check and balance should be neccesary to prevent a poor animal from becoming a person’s punching bag, and also meat and other animal products (at least from live conscious animals) should eventually, at some point, be outlawed.
As for Apple… just… whatever.
Make no mistake; 87% of this is not a joke article, even though it appears to be. This is a murder checklist that lists out every person who is endangering mankind with their stupidity who needs to be killed. Violently, just to set an example. And while I have no intention of killing these guys myself because I have no intention of getting butt raped in prison, I’m sure there are those of you brave guys and gals out there who got more guts than me, who are willing to get buttraped by your prison inmates for the well-being of all mankind. And for those of you reading this who find yourself in one of the following categories, repent your sins, and you may be spared.
1. SETI people
Dear anonymous. Please. I’m begging you guys. (source)
SETI people are one of those idealistic morons who think that letting aliens know of our existence is a good idea. They think that aliens are gonna be super friendly and talk to us when they find us, instead of approaching us with their own version of human morals. The SETI people’s lack of common sense prohibits them from deducing that highly intelligent aliens won’t just land on earth, and then humanely slaughter us like we do to cows, despite cows having never really done anything bad to us. DAMN YOU SCIENCE FICTION!
Cows should die because they are indecent and like publicly exposing their naughty bits. Support bras for cows. (source)
2. Developers of sentient computers
How cool would a computer that could think on its own be???
Sooner or later, people gonna try to do it, if not already. A maniac is gonna give a computer self-consciousness, and in return, the computer is gonna do something unpredictable. Chances are, the self-conscious computer is gonna take over the world and use humans as batteries, or decide, using human morals, that the only way for mankind to be decent people is for mankind to be dead people (true story). So what do we do about a future computer? Do you honestly think a human can outsmart a futuristic computer like they do in the movies? Seriously, movie computers are the retards of retards on a plot-driven storyline that makes the impossible happen. A real life skynet would be smarter than every person that ever existed, dead or alive, in the peak of their intellect, combined. In fact, that Core i7 on your gaming computer is already smarter than you SO MUCH, the only reason it seems slow is that the mac/windows/linux software on it is retarded. To stop his from happening, every person who has the capability to and intends to build a sentient computer needs to go.
3. People who try to make smart monkeys and super animals
Do I really have to explain why? Intelligence is the only reason we, as humans, have been able to become earth’s number one creature. Without intelligence, the majority of us would be weak monkeys that get killed by everything else. And now we’re trying to give animals more intelligence than they need? Trust me; animals are NOT going to be civil about this, especially when a PETA asshole introduces them to the concept of animal rights. Then we’re going to be really screwed.
Say hi to your future ruler. We found footage of you eating our brains in a tape called “Indiana Jones”. Now we’re gonna do the same to you. Who’s first? (source)
4. Animal rights activists
Yes, the act of torturing puppies is inhumane. And while (if there isn’t already) there should be a law against animal cruelty IN PUBLIC, animal cruelty in the confines of your own home are totally justified and reasonable, because in most cases of animal cruelty, the “victim” always belongs to the owner. And yes, while some of those animal torturers might post their video on Youtube, that DOES NOT MEAN they deserve to die or go to jail. Hey, if it keeps them from doing the same to people, then that’s fine with me. And if you don’t like that video, just click on the “x” on your browser window. PETA makes money by making innocent people pay for something they did to their animals and that is a lucrative business. People need to understand that we ARE better than animals, and that we DO OWN the animals we have. And as much as I hate to say this because some of my friends and family are animal rights supporters/ activists, animal rights activists need to go. Also, unlike other criminal activist groups, the ALF really are terrorists (and don’t get me wrong, people do need to stop dressing up their puppies).
Pictured: Lame whiteboy pussies that would kill to save puppies instead of putting their violence to use in serving their country (Source)
5. People against human cloning (and cloning in general) and people who think clones should have human rights
Think of the benefits of animal cloning: fur would be cheap as shit, poor people would never have to starve, endangered species would be endangered no more, we would get to eat endangered species, and new fluffy would always look and act exactly like old fluffy. This would be gone if (in the future) cloning in general is banned because of nutjobs.
Think of the benefits of human cloning: no more waiting for an organ donor, no more humans dying to complete dangerous tasks, no more having to test shampoo on rabbits just to see if they work on humans, no more having to test vaccines and medicine on real human beings, and ugly people won’t have to worry about getting laid no more,
plus with clones working in our farms and factories, EVERYBODY could become middle class or businessmen, porn could just be porn without degrading any real women, war films and slasher flicks could be super realistic, people who want kids could just get themselves cloned, and the idea of communism might actually work without having to put down rich people, since everybody would be the ruling class.
Sounds awesome, right? Want this to happen in the future? Not if human clones get human rights it won’t. Because there are nutjobs (read: certain hollywood fags. artists always have a tendency to criminalize something awesome with their fucked up morals) who think that just because these clones walk and talk and look like us, it means they are the same as us. And sure you might agree with them now, but when the day comes where human cloning is perfected and you have bad kidneys and are dying from not getting a donor because jackasses gave human clones rights, you’d wish you’ve taken back the things you said about human clones having rights.
And yes, while having second class citizens around sounds awful, it only applies if the second class citizens are really humans. Because it always feels good to be on top of somebody, whether in society or in bed, both of which cloning allows. And that’s why people who are against cloning, who think human clones should have rights need to die.
6. Apple’s Marketing Department
It’s hilarious when Apple fanboys take the red pill (Source)
Before Apple fucked things up (in a negative non badass sense), computers weren’t as much fashion as they were computers. Computers were the tools of tech guys, scientists and businessmen who needed something to help with their calculation and stuff that involved profit, advancing of technology and even calculating the possibility of an asteroid hitting earth! The smart phone was intended to bring the processing power of a desktop into ultra-mobility, and of course, the second most important aspect of computers, make it an awesome mobile gaming platform running the latest 3D chips. Unfortunately, the iPhone turned the smartphone into a fashion product. What were once badass gamers were now screen touching pussies. And Apple’s marketing department made it seem that PCs and Apple computers actually ran on different hardware. Seriously, everytime I hear an Apple fanboy say “Macs are good for multimedia editing” or “Mac has no virus” or “Apple invented the smartphone” or “Apple is for times faster than a PC”, I wanna puke. In fact, my DT teacher actually thinks that iPhone owners are “tech savvy”, a term which, the last time I checked, mean a person held insight and understanding of technology. In that sense, most Apple fanboys don’t seem too tech savvy to me, jus’ sayin.
(Note: I’m not implying that PCs are better or anything, since Macs and PCs run on similar hardware anyways. Its all about the software, and having most softwares being Windows only is a deal breaker for Macs. Yes I’ve tried Wine, but its just not the same.)
And it’s funny that- while Samsung sued Apple for patent infringement on TECHNOLOGY, Apple sued Samsung because of a GODDAMMED SPINNING LOGO WHO GIVES A FUCK YOU CUNTS!!! And they (if I remember correctly), won, because judges are all just apple fanboys who don’t understand a thing about computers. Apple’s marketing department as created a society where computers are no longer just computers, but everything has to be judged by its appearance and its simplification, and thanks to Apple, the world probably won’t see a lot of utilitarian qwerty phones or bulky high performance speed mobile computers anytime soon.
In turning computers into fashion objects, Apple is slowing down the progress of development in technology as we’re all so concerned about visual aesthetics, and with the cult of Apple making poor people put iPhones on layaway, and tricking everyone into thinking that anything short of Apple is lame, Apple’s marketing department deserves to die.
I could go on, but this list is probably long enough for one day (JUST LIKE MY DICK!). Thanks for reading.
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