More like Flushpoint. Prolly why it got Flushed.

Fuck Flashpoint.

Forgive my language. Firstly I’m a bit concerned about the lack of bad language. Okay they’re ferggin gang members, they don’t have to concern themselves with the use of goddamn obscenities. I know this show is trying to be “realistic” and all but the overuse of “clean” language in the show undermines the immersion a LOT.

The PG rating is about as bad as it gets for a show about crime, cause let’s face it- life itself is NC-17- and crime ain’t exactly the PG end of the spectrum. You wake up, take a piss, look down at your penis, boom- R-rating. Forcing a PG rating on a show clearly not meant to be PG is just wrong.

General structure is pretty boring, predictable and unsettling too. Generally each episode starts with a misleading prologue, but the second after the intro video rolls you see the “criminals”, mostly good people doing bad things because of circumstances, and then the cops intervening and acting like giant dicks half the time that make you hate them. In fact 80% of the time I found myself rooting for the “bad guys”, and getting angrier and angrier every time the self-righteous cops kill them or persuades them. I dunno if this were done on purpose or just bad writing, but if you’re making me hate the show then good job you’ve succeeded. I can sorta see why the show got cancelled, and all I can say is – good.

there’s not much story development leading into the resolving of the crime – the cops make pretty damn good predictions every time (tsk tsk writers), and then then the cops escalate the situation and foiled the perfectly well intentioned plan, but it is justified because there’s a big emotional dramatic intervention before something either goes horribly wrong or luckily right depending on whether or not the writers feel like it (or if the “criminal” in question is a big Russian sniper war hero who defended his village against tyranny, motivated by emotionally-justified revenge).

And then the damn epilogue-song thing determined to make you feel emotional in the aftermath of a lame episode. It gets old after a while, trust me- I’ve already been desensitized to violence, to drug use, to bad language, and now Flashpoint is all like “nope screw you, hope you enjoy having your emotions desensitized as well”, because out of all the 20 something episodes I’ve watched so far, only a few of them could almost silence my scoff. Almost.

Also, yeah… err the token replacement thing is just silly. The only girl member gets shot, so they replace her with another girl member. The black dude dies, and they replace him with a black girl. Great non- tokening you guys

And since it’s about glorifying the police (some of which come from military), so there’s this whole patriotic theme that’ll annoy the fuck you if you’re not into the whole “let’s make love to our country until mud and worms get stuck on our dicks” thing.

In the end, it’s still pretty addicting, and despite its flaws you forgive it like the abused wife forgiving her abusive husband, secretly enjoying the awful slaps flashpoint sends your way because this is the first non-sitcom TV show you’ve ever watched, and if you like silly bedtime stories then an episode a night is perfect for you.

In fact, use Flashpoint as a sitcom, imagine everything is satirical. That’ll ease the painful experience that is getting hooked on Flashpoint.

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