Is this supposed to mark some kind of turning point, cause I don’t see no curves

I am 17, you are [undefined], I will now go masturbate… #foreveralone

Awesome. Did anyone ever tell you aging is bad? I don’t mean as in having good skin, I mean literally aging- moving through time, increasing the difference between your birthday and the current date. And that’s bad.

I totally wasn’t prepared for a birthday – I still haven’t done everything I wanted to do as a 16 year old yet. Yet, a lot of my time were devoted to meaningless shit, while other times I was wasting my time studying for school.

Only last year did I really receive my own modern-worthy computer (after a summer of minimum wage labor and the funeral of a grandma), and I guess you could say I was trying to make up for lost time, all the proper computer games that I could ave played when I was younger.

Did I have a childhood? I dunno. All I know is that when I was younger, my parents showered me with cheap toys while all I wanted were video-games. But hurr durrp of course video games are UNHEALTHEH! COMPUTA BAD, plastic models of unscientific robots GOOD. I ended up visiting friends purely for the sake of videogames, I guess you could put it negatively that I was a video-game-digger. y’know, like a gold digga but- you get the idea

Now I ended up with a room full of deteriorating playthings with nothing but sentimental value cluttering up the space instead of several neat varied electronic boxes (both consoles and gaming pc) and legal-copy game discs organized on the shelf. Inbetween times where I am supposed to study, I still take the time to rush through seasons of t.v.shows at a 1.5x playback rate, as well as set aside several hours to get through a COD that I haven’t yet played, partially for the entertainment but also to find common ground between me and other people. I still blame my parents.

Believe it or not, Video-Gaming is a universal language for kids of all developing-and-above countries. I’ve seen people of different origins easily hit off a conversation just because they play the same video games and can relate to each other’s experience. Videogames, like all games, are not the evil bad-influences along the same line as drugs n’ booze. In fact when used properly, they can be both very educational (and no I don’t mean those shit educational “games” adults use to annoy kids), fun and an engaging social activity. In fact, any proper console/pc game is 100x healthier than your average phone/facebook game as while proper games are designed for entertainment, phone and facebook games are designed for addiction.

Anyways, lost time. All the toys i used to want, I no longer want. Compared to action figures, sex and gaming are much more appealing to me, especially since I haven’t been able to achieve the former yet. And I know that sex and gaming will probably continue to appeal to me, at least until I turn 50. In this respect, girls and electronics are far better investments than any plastic toys could ever be, yet I was totally not prepared for becoming a teenager, always falling a few years behind schedule- when others were videogaming, I was playing with toys. When others were watching mature films and (some backwards conservative religious clergyman would say) prematurely learning about sex, and education on society, people, and understanding how the world works, I was fucking pleading my parents for a $30 MP4 so I could watch stupid tom and jerry- or pg13 comedy films which’s references I never understood because I don’t watch a wide range of film genres.

And I didn’t even watch Star Trek, omg if there’s one thing that’s healthy educational entertainment, it’s Star Trek.

When others were figuring out girls, I was being a giant, weak pussy, being a loner, watching South Park and not figuring out girls.

When others were gearing up to learn and prepare themselves for college, I was stealing parents money so that I could come close to buying more defective electronics because I had neigh close enough pocket money to get the good stuff. Shit, retrospectively, I shoulda spent the time studying and sharpening up my image. But I didn’t. And I could go on all day about how determinism means that this really is not my fault, but that’s not the point.

I mean I guess it turned out all right, I have a unique set of world views that I believe to be the right one, although my academics are still marks that make me look like an asshole.

And my writing skills – I can rhyme, and to some degree I can sing. But I’ll still be hopelessly lazy, or at least ADD.

let the birthday boy rap out his joy

ahoy all abord the commemorative coin

with the engraving of a ship, a slave ship

a slave to life, and its prejudice

but i find my crew mates encovered with mace

they do a bad job so i self defense their face

cause my sailes are spread all over the place

disposable veils in a reusable vase

cause the structure in calendar marks another rupture

intime where im born local time, im actually born foreigner

should i feel grateful for the aging fate, ill devour

my day in celebration of the birthing hour

somehow seems more appropriate to sing my mom

its her success my failure cuz i think birth is wrong

the birthday song curses me with another year

no drink no fear just a whole lotta beer

that is wasted in the corner, no drinks remember

i need to think clearly, alcohol impede my brain power

dehydration diminish the dim, while you ignite the light

on the candles of my metaphorical cheesecake and wine

but no you not 21 yet, you not 18 yet

and when you are youll be eligible to pay your taxes

of course i feel enraged like i should just relax

happy birthday to me, you may now cease your clap

as if anyone would clap with me…

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