Nepal Visit Field Poem (Namaste Nepal)

The following is a rhyme I wrote while on a IB CAS trip to Nepal. During which I successfully deployed the first non medical related OPCS projector unit (click here to see my poorly executed 40 min presentation on it), a projector computer designed for the needy and classrooms.

I wrote it in the field, so it may be of varying quality and may not accurately reflect the actual situation and/or the way I feel.

warning expletives.



Namaste Nepal


So far so good

my shit’s hidin in the wood

my good guide goes to find me nothing

It’s a bitch

I lose it, lose myself in the unsnowing regions of everest

staring at where I could be

if only I had a chopper, stop her

or don’t, it will have no effect on my life

the mountain top’s a long way and a bumpy ride

steep incline, dead inside

the bugs roam its corpse with foolish pride

but don’t they know? I’ll step on them

I’ll kill them before they get to my side

if I only had a powered parachute to glide

myself around this mess I’d feel alright

An hour down a chute, trying to decide

whether or not it’s worth it, to shit in the shit tent

smell the shit smell, do the shitty song blues

give my rhymes self awareness and allow it to choose

So what there’s greenery at fifty hundred feet

I’d rather there be freezing free colas, complementary

of a five star hotel, or four star I don’t care

just wishin for a toilet is enough shit to bear

If I could take a bath, wash my hair, clean my ass, it’d be over

this song I mean it’d dissolve like there’s sulphur

Seriously this place needs a goddam lawn mower

If I kill their crop, would they kill me? I wonder

I won’t be able to off this hill in time for hospital

And fall victim to a remote area’s weak rituals

Appreciating ruralness is not my strong suit, so fuck it

The peak of the pain is imminent, the summit

Lalalalalalalalalalalala Nepali

Lalalalalalalalalalalala Nepali

Namaste Nepal, hello shit hole

Make my daytime hot and my night time rapist

Come morning you’d be frozen like a taxidermist’s

greatest achievement, cryogenically frozen

still alive how don’t ask me why

I’m a closed book, not open

to your petty suggestions, the thin air has tired me out

now the sun burns my skin and the rain dries my lips

let’s get myself a water, take a sip

And get diarrhea or somethin, I dunno, shit

I hear clear water’s a problem, and we somehow fixed it

five hundred dollar water tank should do the trick

How about my slick idea for a OPCS

That’s an excess not a need, don’t make me sick

lick the pests outta my food please, thank you, now cheese

Even if I were a charity case I wouldn’t believe this

Is what you expect me do, expect me to cope with

So I wrote this in anticipation of a lack of bro fist

And an increase in hate, I can’t help it I’m mean

you’re horrified because I’m a horny unused sex machine

forced into work for poor people I barely know

And the donation fund’s not even allowed to go

towards reducing the money spent on this journey

I just wanna sue the company, get me an attorney

Or get me my life back, I already regret it

This is not pessimism but a logical theoretical obviousness

I cough about this, I lost my interest when they put me in a toilet tent

goddam, why cant I just shit in the wild?

Goddam, why can’t there just be a portable toilet instead?

So should I let it out, or hold it in?

Bust my asshole with a constipated shit, do me in


Enough, let’s talk about the scenery

Oh the mountains and skies are beautiful, isn’t she

Especially the night sky, so clear I can see the universe

Oh man the nebulae, the stars and a shooting star.

I wish for something, let’s not keep that a secret

money and bitches baby, now where’s my golden geese-chick?

But that was just a lone star, red and fast like its dead

an asteroid perhaps, sent to destroy my friends.

Certainly my life, I have city lights back home

What is a little nature compared to light cones

Okay so now I deployed the OPCS projector

A computer out of my own wallet of my father

waiting for the school to repay me

get me back my money

this is more important than a water tank

should be funded by the donation bank

not my wanking

I hope this works, I sincerely do

hope this gets me money and bitches like I wished the star to

yea, charity will get you money, that’s silly

launder the funds with a loose thumb, that’s risky

but diss me, I’m the one who accomplished bringing

computerized technology to this place of needy

using little cash, relatively.

And a projector, A GODDAM PROJECTOR

like, hey man, hate to be a sore,

what have you done for them recently?

Lalalalalalalalalalalala Nepali

Lalalalalalalalalalalala Nepali

But then it’s day three, and its time to leave

For the most part, all that stays is my heart, that’s cheesy

True story, fictional emotional tale

I’d be lying if I didn’t feel nothing at all

But any enlightenment etcetera, I reject it

Am I supposed to cry like a bitch right now?

It’s like people have some tear fetish

I won’t give you the satisfaction, I relish how

I smile fakely out of false happiness

Mostly because I can’t do the dances

At the farewell gathering, I can’t holler neither

I’m used to be quiet, or annoyingly loud

Trying to participate is giving me a seizure

of hopelessness, all the joy is turned to piss

Every move they bust is a diss

But they’re happy, we’re happy

Everyone except for me

Rethinking my theory that this trip was a very

bad idea, I’ll maintain my opinion

Even thought the next year won’t out do my actions

Or will they? Namaste bye bye

72 hours is nothing when the end is arrived

Customary separation, soon they will forget us

Or at least them, the Projector might remember my success

if it is a success, it might be a fail

If the unit is damaged by rain, snow or hail.

But it’s over, and I go for

my tent one last night.

I’m so sure of my mixed feelings

Stay, or run in flight?

All in all the last 3 days offered me some chances

And I took them and I made myself some minor grand achievement

But not really, the grand part is an overstatement

I just was myself, I am myself and always will be myself.

I still hold the supposed gains with some reservating

It is after all a school trip, so excuse my ambiguity

I won’t come out of this trying to be some poster boy

Of how the IB CAS system is the best academic choice

The school couldn’t dream of coming up with this OPCS

That was me, so don’t you go taking credit for what you didn’t

There was some support from the teachers, a friend, and that was it

If this ever leads to the principal being praised, I’ll slit my wrist

Still, I shall look forward with neutrality

To the best of my abilities, the next verse we’ll see

Lalalalalalalalalalalala Nepali

Lalalalalalalalalalalala Nepali

Now we’re leavin the village

bumpy bus ride is senseless

As we wave goodbye I drink my bottle

Hoping that the clear water will contain a trace of alcohol

I feel terrible, poker face make bearable

The time going will pass you

And before you know it we’ll get to Kathmandu

Bye bye village people

And that Nepali phrase I learned but didn’t remember

Won’t need to, I’m sure this life changer

will be behind me, it’s already behind me

I still think about it like my first murdering

Sometimes you just don’t want to leave

sometimes you want to leave but your knees freeze

but’s okay, we got a bus to carry

you across this 2000 dollar journey

Damn I was just getting used to shitting in the shit tent

And not taking bathes and justifying it

Nah just kidding, Phote Namlang

can go get strangled

Call me a heartless bastard

I wasn’t so subtle

I’m multimotional, doesn’t that baffle

Now I’m getting dizzy, staring at the computer screen

typing this shit, good I need to feel sick

There’s a bladder that is shaking

All the liquid I drank, I’m a king

Of the need to release, perhaps even distribute

An official request for powered parachute

That’s how it’s supposed to be done, not this snailin

At least a snail glides across the ground

This is like a bad horse ride, up and down

Making me feel like shake shake fries

The sun is burning, bake bake die

I’m surprised there isn’t any outcry

but then again we’ve adapted to this manly lifestyle

But so fast hit and run it’s time to go

My drive by shooter ran out of ammo

so it’s time to roll, go to the airport

where a seven fiddy seven has set the course

back home, home- what is it

Is it something I can drink or something I can shit in?

With its people busy business and the indifference

The lack of warmth and natural humanity

I lost all track of what is civilization

but one thing for sure, I probably ain’t coming back here again

so goodbye Nepal, hear from you soon

with your poorly maintained roads and mountains b loom.

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