When in doubt, SHUT IT THE FUCK DOWN

That title there is every religious person’s built-in defense mechanism, instilled into them after enough hours spent at the indoctrination facility called the church. Whether to do it mentally like a Christian evading a debate, or physically like a Jihadist with a plane, anytime a religious person senses he is being challenged, his entire consciousness goes into lockdown mode: He refuses to listen, refuses to respond in any meaningful way, and although on the surface he may be smiling out of politeness, deep down he is debating the morality as well as pros and cons of violently murdering this devilish heathen and his false temptations of so-called reason.

A little bit of background on myself, and I will make it clear, I am an atheist. As a self-proclaimed philosopher, a huge percentage of my thinking capacity is devoted to figuring out life’s big mysteries – things such as “who am I”, “why are we here” etc.

The reason that I trust my own conclusions is because firstly, I am relatively withdrawn from society and social pressure, thus see myself as having a more objective assessment. Secondly, I am a relatively open minded person. While there are still many things I have reservations as well as personal opinions about, I will always – if I remember to, try my best to adopt multiple perspectives and attempt the opposing point of view. Thirdly, the reason I am so devoted to philosophy is because I am relatively terrible at every other area of knowledge, be it science, or math, or even computers. However unlike physics, philosophy does not require a huge amount of foundation before a person can begin exploring it, and therefore I’ve spent hours upon hours just pondering the questions of the universe (that don’t require extensive knowledge of the actual universe).

The reason I am atheist is the same reason that religious people are uninterested in god-creators. While I definitely don’t deny the possibility that some form of omnipotent being exists, there has never been any concrete evidence that in any way suggests the intervention of a god – as in, while god may or may not have caused the big bang, god certainly did not help Joe open the door to his own car.

While you could say god gave Joe the will power to get his keys to open his car door, god didn’t have to as Joe had the full capability to do it himself naturally anyway. In the same way, there is a logical explanation for pretty much everything in the world, as such there isn’t really a need for the existence of a god, as every supposed miracle was more or less caused by a scientifically plausible event. And if god spends his time doing things that just happen with or without his intervention, then how do we differentiate between his handiwork? Are we just supposed to believe that everything we consider morally good is caused by god while everything morally bad is not? And if a challenge, eg an earthquake was also caused by god, then how are we supposed to be certain whether to embrace our fate or fight it? If something good were to happen to us, how can we be certain that god wants us to have it rather than for us to show some humility and deny ourselves it?

Then religion would say, “follow your heart”, as in your emotions. Of course the religious say that the feeling of the holy spirit is different from the emotions of a hormonal imbalance, but contrary to popular belief, drugs can cause a wave of magical feeling which may be misinterpreted as the holy ghost. And of course if I purposefully inject you with a drug to manipulate you, would you still follow your feelings? How can you be sure than god didn’t intend for me to carry a message for him? How can you be sure the manipulation is not a test to see where your faith really is- in the bible or in god himself?

Too many questions that scriptures don’t have a definitive answer to, so people just make their own interpretations based on what they want, and in the end, it’s all attributed to scientifically provable causes. So does god exist? Probably, but since he hasn’t personally interfered with our lives then it really doesn’t matter does it? You could try to climb up Everest and get his attention, or you could do weird chanting but in the end it will just be your own doing, not god’s.

The existence of a god may be an interesting fact but overall irrelevant in our daily lives, just as if I asked a religious person “who created god? he can’t exist just ’cause’, can he?”. And perhaps there is a religion that has a god-creator, but then if you ask “who created the god creator?”, they will probably dismiss it as irrelevant but that is really because it’s a question that requires actual thinking, and really messes with their heads. There are tons of religions telling you supposedly why you exist, but nothing about why god exists because even the best fiction writer can’t bullshit that far out without sounding too silly and illogical, even for a religious person. If god’s creator doesn’t matter, then my creator doesn’t matter.

Does religion actually matter though? Of course it matters, because 84% of the people in the world are religious. There’s a saying I have – “Manners don’t matter and when they do matter it’s because I’m dealing with assholes like you”. If you’ve been able get past the coarse language in the title of the article you probably recognize that a four letter word isn’t such a big deal. If you’re a nudist you might think that nudity is not such a big deal, and you’re right- in both cases it’s not. Except you still keep your f-bomb at bay, you still keep your tits tucked tight in, because there are people who care about that and if you offend them then it would be undesirable. Tits don’t kill people, “fuck” don’t kill people, but it still somehow matters because there are people who believe these two things are “indecent” for whatever possibly religious reason.

People are religious for many reasons. Religion itself was invented as a method of control, because people were stupid and didn’t believe that there were these “tiny invisible creatures” in the pork that would kill you if you ate it, so in order to keep people alive, the village elders were like – “because GOD says so. And if GOD didn’t exist, then why is the sky blue?” and people were like “this makes sense” as a giant man in the sky casting thunderbolts was easier to visualize than bacteria.

Assuming that the many (religious) traditions were not due to some nefarious purpose, we could say that they came from a good cause – religions supposedly promote being a decent person (OR BURN IN MOTHERFUCKING HELL) which is always such an effective crime-prevention measure, but of course generations passed and people forgot the original purpose of religion, instead focusing on scriptures and statues and praying instead of actually being a decent person (as well as not dying).

Too many religious traditions don’t make sense in the modern age, which is of course why there are now proper atheists (who used to be called heathens, remember the good ol’ nigger lynchin’ days GRANDPA???) (not MY grandpa, but as in old white conservatives in general. My grandfather was probably a racist just as rednecks of every skin color are, but he had never even been to America. He was probably a good man according to my dad).  But people still kneel and pray and do the weird customs – hell, even I participated in some totally superstitious Chinese customs during my grandma’s funeral even though I was a Christian then.

If I were a true Christian, then I certainly wasn’t allowed to kneel down to my dead grandma because false idols n shit, and certainly a huge percentage of religious people in the world don’t even try to appear to be following religious instruction to the letter. In the book “Born Atheist”, Tim Covell points out that most people are religious not because they were raised that way or they actually believe they will be smitten (besides, modern Christianity offers such an easy way out – any sinner can just be forgiven his way into heaven), but because of the benefits religion offers such as a social acceptance, business opportunities, and free food.

This is supposed to be the part where you come to the horrifying realization that without religion, the world would be chaos, since no afterlife to matter means no rules, everybody rape and pillage everybody!!! Of course that’s not how rational people think, but that is the thought process of many of the religious, of what religion was created to deal with in the first place (and religion is still working its magic in the rural areas where people really on god-induced self control to maintain the not-crime). Granted religion was crucial in keeping humans under control so they didn’t just completely murder each other (even though we did come horribly close due to religion), but it is now a pretty much obsolete and unnecessary feature, something that should be but isn’t a remnant of the past.

Religion is a matter of faith. And the reason religious have been able to successfully convert so many people is that they always catch the weak with their pants down. You’re in a bad place, you’re in a bad mood, a preacher comes and cheers you up, offering hope and peace as long as you fully believe, and BOOM you’re feeling awesome from all the hope and peace, you believe, you’re religious, no going back. Then to keep you from leaving they feed you all the terrible bad arguments atheists have made over the years, the ridiculous stereotypes of the cynical atheist and the amazing testimonials that really could be attributed to any number of scientific reasons, but most of all they get to your heart. Atheism – at least the cold logical atheism, does not get into your heart. Nobody (at least not anyone I’m aware of) has ever really made someone cry by screaming “SCIENCE! LOGIC! REASON!” into a microphone (except for maybe scaring all the little girls into their chastity rings LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE).

Your arguments can be as logical and reasonable as mathematics itself, but everybody knows it’s the guy with the personality that wins the presidency. People are retarded like that.

If you’ve ever tried to debate with a Christian as an Atheist, you’d know how frustrating it is. Perhaps a Buddhist monk sounds like the kind of guy that would win you over by calmly expressing wise words of ridiculous wisdom, but with Christians, there really is no way you will ever be able to convert them to Atheism.

Perhaps one of the key factors in this issue is the rivalry between different religions. While Catholics may think of Lutherans and Baptists as non-Christians, to me it’s all the same – Jesus worshippers. So perhaps, to a Catholic, Atheism is like Taosim – just one of the many infidel religions praying to the wrong god and eating meat on Fridays, and this sort of leads me back to the title of this article.

Trying to debate with a devoted Christian (such as my mom) is the definition of insanity. You start off thinking you will get somewhere, but without you even knowing it the Christian will become aware that he is losing the debate and engage in an internal lock-down. He will continue moving his mouth and tongue while breathing air through his voice, but by this point he is just stalling. Soon, he will end the debate with something irrelevant, and by then you just give up before you try again later.

Perhaps there exists a religion which is so scientific and logical that it presents no reason for disbelief, but even if there is a god, I sincerely hope it isn’t the Jewish/ Christian/ Mormon god, because Christians apparently have this thing called “divine logic” which works differently to “human logic” in which justifies everything god and the bible does, and you can’t argue against it because understanding divine logic is beyond human capability yet somehow Christians can still use it against you even though being human themselves should mean they can’t understand it themselves as well, and you can’t utilize something without at least partially understanding it, right?

I mention this, because using my puny human perception, the Jehovah god is the biggest asshole in bible history. No matter the Jehovah religion, it all starts the same: God takes 7 days to make the world which we live in.

Firstly, god should have taken more time to think through his shit because the world we live in, even without all the pollution, is still pretty darn crap, with its dangerous animals, diseases, disasters, solar flares n whatnot.

Then god puts supposedly the first man and woman in existence into the garden of Eden. The first man and woman are obviously, retards who don’t understand the concept of knowledge and good and evil, so god puts a Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil nearby which he tells them not to eat the stuff from that tree which would give them super knowledge and moral powers.

But since Adam and Eve don’t have the concept of morality (plus they are retards, one is literally a glorified rib), then they wouldn’t know if it’s right or wrong to follow those instructions. Plus, there are no second chances in the garden of Eden, and it just so happens that there is a highly persuasive snake in the same garden who’s sole objective is to get back at god by making the humans eat that tree.

To worsen the pot, God gives Adam and Eve “free will” so they can “choose” whether or not to eat that fruit.

What can I say? Baaaaaaaad level design, god. See supposedly if Adam and Eve don’t eat the fruit, they will have an eternity to live. And since they are retards living in the same general region as a persuasive snake and illegal fruits, it is highly likely that the chance of them eating the apple increases exponentially each day, curiosity being a human’s animal trait n all.

So one way or another, god had doomed Adam and Eve to banishment ever since the beginning, free will or no free will. And since while sentience is existent, free will is non-existent, so either god is a total fucking retard who’s intelligent designed the world my ass, or he is an evil monster out to make mankind suffer just so that he could kill his own son and then revive him 4 teh lulz.

Let’s not forget all the racism and murdering of the Egyptians and barbarians and well as the Babylonian massacre.

But then the religious say, “those are just stories with a didactic meaning”. But then, where do you draw the line between “ancient story” and “god-given law”? The most obvious liberty taken by various religions, is the answer – wherever I damn well please. And religions have to do that to stay alive because they know if they become extremists and follow their own texts 100% by the book then they will be eliminated from modern civilized society instantly.

Of course, the religious have faith. And faith is obviously above all things. Pfft, who needs logic? Logic is just a heathen’s way of messing with your head, don’t fall victim to it or else Satan will torture you in the fires of hell, got that? Here’s your standard issue reason deflector, put it on whenever someone tries to talk to you, okay? Everything the enemy says are lies – we are not Gestapo and it’s definitely the enemy, not us, who are holding your future hostage with their heathen ways. Have faith.

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