1 Easy way to not get fat

The most uncompetitive internet article ever.

Edit: Okay super helpful comment from Happyfunballs ruining my moment 😐 . The super secret secret here is apparently called ‘intermittent fasting’. So if you already know what it is and already tried it and it didn’t work, then go away. This article isn’t going to offer you anything else…….. or is it?

I won’t pretend I have a lot of knowledge on how biology works, and to be fair, I started out skinny/scrawny and of course the best way to avoid getting overweight is probably to exercise regularly or get liposuction every once in a while.

But exercising is tiring.

One of my (terribly unhealthy) lifelong goals is to become a fatass – the rationalization that from a purely superficial perspective, an unhealthy fatass is slightly more attractive to females than an unhealthy skinny person. Stupid I know, but nobody wants to fuck a man-stick insect (unless he is a walking penis with legs? I dunno).

Yet while money for food is not a problem for me, I have yet to realize this aspiration, mostly because even though I eat like a pig on occasion completely oblivious to my calories, usually I just can’t be arsed to eat. A good way to do so is to skip lunch.


1. Eating takes time. Time you could spend working, so try getting a busy job or some non-nutrient intake based fun things to do. Once you realize the opportunity cost of eating, you may very well stop eating.

2. Eating takes effort. It is tiring. It is also annoying to have to go to a canteen/restaurant, line up, order something with money, or even worse bring your own lunchbox in which case you are carrying a sizable sack of things for no other reason other than lunch. I find that not having to carry an extra bag is extremely convenient.

And even if it’s something microwaved or instant, you still have to get rid of the trash and the trash can is like 12 feet away.

Also, eating takes effort, all the chewing and spooning (not the good kind) is like exercise for the mouth, and if you’re reading this article you probably don’t like exercise very much.

On that note, I can’t wait for a personalized daily nutrient machine that synthesizes a personalized nutrient mixture containing everything you need for a healthy intake for a day.

3. Tasty foods are tasty. I don’t know how it deters you from eating, but there.

I couldn’t give less shits about trans-fats and the dangers of coke.

I’m probably gonna die young.


One thought on “1 Easy way to not get fat

  1. You could skip a meal and call it that, or you could do the same thing and call it ‘intermittent fasting’. Seriously, its the same thing and very popular right now. And of course it works, but just a few years ago everyone would have told you it was unhealthy to skip meals, now its the healthy thing to do!

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