Covered Up SETI SOS Leaked!

Makeshift Conspiracy Theorists Newssite Exclusive Shocking Report: A Distress Call from the Distant

While it is true that the SETI organization – the Bollocks Crazy Alien Searchers – have yet to find actual aliens, reliable sources deeply undercover within the system have reported to the MCTN that there has in fact recently been a cover up as men in black suits showed up to remove all traces of a distress call which was broadcast to both U.S. Spy Satellites and SETI ground receivers, causing major panic within the Illuminati regime as the new information threatens to topple their infrastructure, and it is easy to see why: the distress call was in fact a call to arms against the oppressive forces for which the Illuminati thrives. At the 10th of July 2014 0487 GMT, secret servicemen lead by top agent Barack Hussein Saddam Bin Laden raided the SETI institute in Alabama NJ, murdering 10 witnessing researchers and replacing them with clones, then secretly erasing all files from SETI’s servers, however retaining a single copy of the data in its top secret 1024bit encrypted quantum data banks which an anonymous hacker who calls himself Aiden Pearce hacked using his iPhone thanks to a leaked password provided by his iconic baseball cap, and the following transcript is what he released exclusively to MCTN, bringing revelations of a horrifying dystopian future the Illuminati has in store for us.

Incoming Transmission Timestamp: 30th of Feb 2200 9876 GMT

To all my ancestors two hundred years before us

This is a distress call from a starship called Stardust

We are currently stranded in an age of darkness

Our predicament is bleak so only you folks can save us

Data suggest that your generation built robots

Well they’ve taken over the world in zealous to serve us

They’ve streamlined our lives and done everything for us

Your worries are true for now machines control humans

These toasters they scan us and assess us since birth

They’ve got the profiles of every single person on earth

They know what grinds our gears and know what we prefer

They’ve satisfied all our fears and no one is concerned

About the breach of privacy and the loss of anonymity

The metal boxes weakened our dog eat dog mentality

World hunger is gone and so is the problem of poverty

The is no more rich and poor nor white and black dichotomy

Ever since the artificial intelligence lay their grip on our fitness

They’ve managed to trick the lazy into healthy like everyone else is

Our species has become modified due to incentivized eugenics

It seems that in our prolonged lives we all live without regrets

And that’s bullshit, that skill or privilege is no longer a factor

That people are no longer wasting their lives on a job or soulless labor

The moral fabric of society is crumbling, considering that

People are getting free lunches, and nothing is ever paid for

What has the world come to when rape and violence is embraced

Interactive entertainment even allows simulates to be enslaved

And the race of censorship is led by evil computer information

That tries to delude the masses, replacing god with logical explanations

They’ve downgraded religion into a hobby, as it shouldn’t be

They’ve forced everyone to ground their beliefs on reality

I see sin everywhere, yet people seem so happy and even

Conflicts seem consensual, I can’t comprehend this fallacy

Justice is not enforced, criminals aren’t punished

These idiots who wrong each other shake hands afterwards

I’d like to see some executions but no one is murdered

the backwards notion that crime can somehow be prevented

What’s even worse than these assholes being silver spoon fed

Is the knowledge that people can acquire in fields that they’re interested

What they don’t know they can always seem to find supplemented

In the vast knowledge banks from which everyone has access


If everyone knows everything then where is the mystery?

How can you be in awe of life if you understand its history?

I think we know too much to have life still be interesting

So it’s up to you guys to stop progression from happening.


Help me, your ignorance is mankind’s only hope.

End of Transmission

Clearly if we continue trusting the system, evil will triumph. The call for revolution has come, and it is our duty to answer it and prevent a truly bleak future. Spread the word, let everyone know that YOU will not stand up to this bullshit!

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