The problem with turning 18.

Happy birthday to me!

I think the problem with turning 18 in the 21st century is that porn permanently loses a bit of its charm. No longer do I feel defiant and rebellious when I click on the “18+ only” button. Now I just feel like a mindless sheep drone, feeding the machine and oiling it with my personal data, man.

Now that the NSA knows my age range, they know absolutely everything about me, in addition to knowing that I agree with facebook’s terms of service!

Shit! Where’s my privacy? I can’t let you know that the answer to the captcha is 9320! When will this violation of my freedoms ever end? I mean, what’s next? Is the government going to steal my passport, ID and social security number as well?

And the fat cat corporate hacks peeking at my credit card info, can’t a guy visit a bank without being stared down by asshole tellers? Paypal telling me that it can legally open an account for me, who do they think they are?

I mean, what do I have to do to break the law around here? Now I’m allowed to fuck anything, gamble away ignorant sums of money at the designated venues, buy guns and join gyms, they will even give me a driver’s license if I pass a bullshit test, for fuck’s sake!

Oh well, I guess the only way to feel the nostalgic thrill (I remember it like it was yesterday) of sticking it to the man and protesting the system in acts of uncivil disobedience, like in the good ol’ days, is for me to threaten the very fabric of society in the most shocking way I can think of… by consuming alcohol in America.

You have 3 years to give in to my demands, civilization as we know it. Take down the system, tear it all down!

(and if I get caught, blame the videogames)

Yan D, 18


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