Political Barbie goes PC: Toy firm releases ‘realistic’ dolls as part of ‘diverse’ range


As part of a response to critics, the political Barbie selection is to add different politician types to its existing range of political dolls. This is a first time for the toy company of Mattel, which has previously only offered one type of political doll. The toy company says that it recognizes that there is a diversity of candidates in the political spectrum, and that its previous selection placed undue stress and anxiety on politically-conscious voters by perpetuating an idea of perfection it now admits is likely unattainable in the American political field.

Over the past year there have been reports of voters contemplating self harm due to Mattel’s influence on impressionable voters, with tragic tales of voters “babbling about Scandinavia” and at least 1 confirmed case of terrorists succeeding in “trying single payer” in an attack on freedom that has caused a nationwide dialogue on the responsibilities of political toy manufacturers.

Critics of the new doll argue that voters should be able to learn and recognize that political barbie is just fiction and fantasy, and Mattel shouldn’t be blamed for the irrational actions of the voters. Commenting on the incidents, one pundit said “Where were the special interest groups and corporate donors? Don’t blame it on the manufacturer, whatever happened to good parenting? If the corporations had done their job right, the voters would have understood early on that political barbies aren’t supposed to be real and such tragedy could have been avoided.”

The new selections have tested poorly with focus groups comprising of voters of the “good judgement” demographic who still preferred the original, however Mattel says that it is dedicated to providing a comprehensive, diverse coverage of the political spectrum, and plans on offering even more variety in the coming months arguing that all politics are beautiful, and that there isn’t such a thing as an objectively good politician.

New lines of political dolls representing realistic “corrupt” and “batshit” politician types arrive on shelves next monday, complementing the existing “Bernie Sanders” lineup.

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