80 mile EVs – The Worst Tool of Oppresion


It starts at the charging station. The fastest charging systems in place give you 80% of your battery in 30 minutes. Combine a few charging stations and widespread electric car adoption, you end up with long waiting lines where the orphans of wealth beg the juice dispenser “please sir, can I have some more?” Daily, fighting each other over “ethical charging spot usage”, ramming the other guy out of the way to get to the plug first, riots sparking because someone set their timer 10 minutes late, and if there are any deaths, it’s just population control which you can observe and laugh at as you pass by in your gas car or long range electric.

The 80 mile range is the second part of the puzzle. 80 miles is the sweet spot between usability and cost effectiveness, infecting the populace with these tools will become increasingly cheap as economies of scale progress. 80 miles is enough for the worker ant to get to work and back, but not enough for doing much else. This makes it excellent for keeping the peasants from straying too far from their designated ghettos where they belong. It also prevents them from sticking their noses in places that might interfere with your plans.

The third aspect keeps the untouchables in their place by attacking their dignity. By design, 80 mile electric cars and their bug-eyed appearance are thoroughly undignifying to the driver, the effect only further exacerbated by the car’s utterly pathetic performance from the low horsepower engines typically weaker than gas engines on their gas equivalents by 50hp or more, having to lug around over 1000lbs of excess weight from the batteries. Such disappointing performance and looks will prevent an electric car driver from ever having the confidence and self-worth to stand up to the 1%, and without the soothing noise of running gas engines, electric car drivers will go mad and make up fictional, meaningless terms like “instant torque” to make themselves feel better.

Electric cars accomplish all that oppression, enabling the peasants to operate as worthless working drones and nothing more, while keeping the air and environment squeaky clean for the true human beings – the chosen people – The 1st class citizens to enjoy, reclaiming the peace that they rightfully deserve. By freeing up the world’s fossil fuel resources and carbon capacity from the filthy poverty-stricken claws, the rich and powerful will be able to sustain their fueled luxuries practically indefinitely while the poor wallow in their electric car unfueled misery.

“Wouldn’t they realize what we are doing? What’s to stop them from switching back to their gas cars?” you say, pointing out the obvious. Oh ye of little faith. The final component of electric car oppression is the addiction. Electric cars have far lower operating costs than gas cars. With all the money saved on fuel and oil changes, spark plugs, brake pads etcetera, poor people will suddenly find themselves swimming in cash. And what do these uncultured monkeys do with all that excess cash? Why, they buy drugs of course. Poor people will buy drugs, get arrested for DUIs, get fined, buy drugs to wash down the misery of getting fined and having to pay up all that debt, and the cycle repeats until the poor can never afford another car – gas car or long range electric, keeping them enslaved forever.

And that is the sheer brilliance of 80 mile electric cars, the perfect tool of oppression. I dread the future such magnificent machines will bring to us and the ability of 80 mile electrics to keep help you maintain your power, why, if some enterprising individual or collective were to sponsor electric cars for everyone under the guise of charity it would be absolutely, dare I say perfectly devious and horrible!

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