A Meeting with Hitler


Hitler asks me whether he should kill 6 million Jews or 7 million Jews
I say, how about zero Jews?
Hitler says nope, we’re trying to out killing zero jews as an atheist even though he’s really jewish, and there are other tactics in these super secret emails so killing zero jews won’t be an option or problem. However, 6 million jews has all the name recognition, she will be the first 6 in office – there goes the glass ceiling – and come on, you have to admit 6 million is better than 7 million. I mean just look at 7 million! How horrific! 7 million is the worst! 7 million kills 7 million Jews!
I say, well I guess 6 million is less than 7 million, are those my only choices?
Hitler says yep
I say, what about making jews do pushups, or telling Jews they’re grounded?
Hitler says nope, those options need to poll at at least 15% before they are allowed in the debates
I say okay, but I’m starting to suspect there’s something you’re not telling me.
Hitler says nope, those are the rules of the game, everything you need to know.
Ok, I say, I prefer the option that kills less Jews
Kill less Jews… okay, let me just fill in your details, select this box and… Oops! I’m sorry! says hitler, I forgot, you live in an area where most people want to kill more Jews and they overwhelmingly vote that way every time, so basically your area votes for your collective vote,  and ends up, your vote doesn’t really count. Wanna try again in a few years?
I say, wait a minute, this whole time I’ve been deciding what to do about jews, I’ve missed the most important thing!
What? Says Hitler.
The final solution I’ve been looking for… its been in front of me the whole time… it’s you.
As hitler approaches for the embrace I pull out my shotgun and blast the system in the face with a load of transparency, getting money out of politics, and just generally non evil decision making.
As Hitler bleeds to death, I say I’m sorry, I had servitude transmitted democracy since the start, biatch.


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